Let me just give y’all a little bit of background. I started having kids when I was 23. I’m now 31 and my kids are 8, 5.5 and 3. When I got pregnant with Natalie way back when I knew that I always wanted 3 kids. I also knew that I didn’t want to spend forever pregnant, nursing and changing diapers. With that being said, I knew, crazy as it may sound, I wanted 3 kids before I was 30. I literally just laughed out loud at the fact that this was a thing. I don’t regret anything, I love my family and I love my children but to make these major life decisions before the age of 30 is nuts. There is so much growth that happens in your twenties that I think making any major decisions before 30 will come with some serious case of FOMO. It’s something that I can attest to first hand.
Well, here I am, in the thick of it all — A freaking 3rd grader, kindergartner, and a preschooler. YES, I am all done! I cannot even imagine what my life would be like with 4 kids. I mean if I could have a 12-year-old and have a little helper, I’d maybe– a strong maybe– consider that, but I am all done.
Before Travis was born, I knew that he would be the last baby. I knew that I would have another c-section and I also knew that I had options. I wanted my tubes tied when I had him. I am the worst pregnant lady ever. I am so short that being pregnant is literally the worst. Before having your tubes tied, Kaiser makes you take a class. I was by far the youngest in the class, so far that they wanted to make sure I was over 18. Whaatt?? Anyhow, after the 2-hour class, I was still on board with having my tubes tied. Signed some paperwork and waited until I had T to lock it down.
I remember it so vividly — T was a scheduled C-Section and when all was done, the OB asked are you sure you want your tubes tied, are you SURE you don’t want any more babies… And at that point, when they pulled him out I felt like I could finally breathe for the first time. I felt all this pressure being released and I said YES. And that was it. It was like nothing extra, I was even a bit concerned — like did she really do it.
Fast forward to 6 weeks later, just out of the haze of newborn-land and mastering a toddler and a child, my OB canceled my 6-week appointment! All the mama’s know that at the 6-week appointment they clear you for sex, put you on the mini pill, etc and give you the green light. Well, she canceled on me. I never really had any TRUE confirmation if my tubes were really tied– I mean I keep asking every time I go in for my annual but the best they can do is read my chart and say “yep, you’re all good.” I mean at this point, I’m 100% positive my tubes are tied or I would have had 2 more babies by now– at least.
I am sure that I am all done having babies but I would be lying if I didn’t tell you if I sometimes questioned if I made the right decision. I often think of those who can’t have or can’t carry and I should have helped. The thought of being a surrogate crosses my mind at times and that would be the only reason I wish I didn’t have my tubes tied. I guess this is something that I should have thought of while not being 8 months pregnant. If you’re looking for surrogacy options– email me and I’ve got the right people to put you in contact with. <3