When asking about what y’all wanted to hear about most; many asked how I manage my time between being a Mom, Wife, Friend and beyond. Well, time management was always my thing. I’m super old school and like pen and paper planning so I write EVERYTHING down. If for some reason I don’t have my planner, I jot it down in a note or throw it onto my phone calendar. I really try to get my online calendar and paper calendar in sync. So once that’s all set up, trust me it takes time, I make time for everything else.
Date night is Wednesday. We do our very best to try and do something once a week. Sometimes its dinner, sometimes it’s dessert, a movie at the house but usually involves some sort of snack. We go when the kiddos go to bed and thankfully my MIL watches the kids. We are LUCKY and thankful to have her here to watch the kids so that we can sneak away.
I think that date night is super important. We lost ourselves for a hot minute, but we’re getting back on track. It is no surprise that raising a family and having careers and passions take up A LOT of time. There is legit ALWAYS something that could be happening or needs to get done, but all those times you put the power couple behind that things start to break. Probably a year or so ago, I had come to the realization that I couldn’t even remember the last time we went on a date was. Like zero recollection. None. It was so sad– heartbreaking. That had to change, therefore; Wednesday date night was put into place. Do we make it every Wednesday? No. But we do try and make up for it on a different night. So, moral of the story is make date night a regular thing. Turn on the repeat event and just go with it.
I live by girls night. It is something that I just need. It helps me decompress, connect and just be me. #thursdaysareforthegirls is something that I started a little more than a year ago and well- I’m not going to lie, this year I’ve been sucking at following through. I don’t think that this school year I’ve done one Thursday night out. But I pick Thursday nights selfishly because I don’t have to work on Fridays and everyone is still in town and around because the kids have school on Friday. It brews the perfect storm. Lunches are ready before I head out of the door and if we’re going big, it’s cereal for breakfast. I’ve got ZERO shame. The kids’ backpacks are set, outfits picked out and I just cross my fingers that everything aligns and it’s a decent drop. Go big, just a drink, whatever your pleasure just make sure you have QUALITY girlfriends and be sure to laugh a lot– that’s really the key.
Having individual time with the kids is so important. I really have been trying to figure out how to try and spend time with each kid on an individually weekly. It breaks up the bickering, I get to learn about their lives, get the dirty, what they’re struggling with and just reconnect. For the big kids it’s usually a dollar scoop at Rite Aid, pedicure or even just a car ride. They’re easy. Natalie takes a little to open up, but I find that the key is to have the questions ready to go and not to interrupt if they decide to open up. Travis’ 1-1 time usually involves some sort of dino battle and I get to hear all about his friends at school and what his teachers are up to. 🙂 I enjoy it, I hope that it can be more than just once a week because even just typing that is kind of sad.
Now for the much needed ME time. For me personally, it’s going to bed before 10:30 with my Insight Timer app and getting up at 5:30, a good HOUR AND FIFTEEN MINUTES before the first kid gets up. That gives me time for a snooze if necessary, a quick shower, throw on a decent face, do my hair and have time to drink my hot lemon water and peruse all these different social media platforms in peace. By the time it’s time to get Travis (my first wake up because he eats the most breakfast..) I’ve taken care of all my shit. Literally. It is a luxury to poop alone, and I’d gladly wake up early if that’s how I’m going to get it.
So play with schedules, make plans, stick to it. I’m not saying that I’m an expert BUT this is just what has worked for me. I really didn’t even start to get any of the luxuries until my kids were a bit older and in a groove. So IF you’re not quite there yet, start small. SELF CARE & reach out to your #momsquad — They’ll get it, you’ll get it and it’ll be a happy ending. Everybody wants a happy ending. 😉